Hanging By A Thread

I’m hanging by a thread
The rope is breaking
The time is ticking
My fingertips are slipping
And the pain I’m in, its running through my veins
You don’t listen to a word I say and
The walls are closing in
It’s tough to keep my feet on the floor
My heart is reaching and
I can’t stand it.
My thoughts are being swirled around in the washing machine,
Like a whirl pool I can’t fight
What’s left of my heart is all I have to stay strong
Each minute the pain is growing stronger and stronger
The rain and thunderstorms are like the things I’m fighting through, just to make myself last
My eyelids are shutting and
My barin’s become dizzy
The colors they swirl around in my heart
Then I’m lying there and I’m breaking away
Crumbling like a chocolate chip cookies, that
Was dunked into milk too long.
I’m slipping away at the seams and
I’ve become something I’m not

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No More Hate

I’m falling down a black hole river.

I can’t seem to find my way.

I don’t know where I am going, but I guess it doesn’t matter.

I’ve been tired,but lately I can’t find the hours of father time.

My eyes, as they are dripping with bloody tears.

My heart doesn’t listen to how many stitches it already has.

My legs and arms ,as the scabs start to come back.

The words, they’ve already begun.

They have haunted me since day one.

The days they drag on me like a dugger without a joint.

With pain running through my eyes and veins, I can’t really see what seems to matter.

The things I pop into me, their strength runs straight to my bairn.

One by one their colors excite me.

Two by two their thrills start to drill me.

By the time i get to three the scissors start to snip me.

Then I start to count the lines and dashes.

Two arms and two legs with 16 lines and dashes.

One the left leg 9 lines and dashes makeup the word “die”.

So when i’m done looking at the dripping lines.

I grab the rope and to make the letter “o” with a line hanging down from the ceiling.

I step on the stool as I write my goodbye letter.

“ I love you mom and dad. I can’t take the teasing anymore. so i’m pleasing you. I’m just saying good bye. I love you…”

Memories Full of Bitter

I see you and I’m walking down the hall.

You smiling up at me.

I laugh out loud.

You question why.

Your face says it all.

I don’t need you or

a heartful of bitterness.

It tastes tangy on my tongue.

I don’t need you in my life.

I’d rather stab myself with a knife.  

I’m independant

and I know you can’t stand it.

There are no more butterflies.

Only regrets.

So these are my ways of saying good bye.

May I Say

You make me feel like I wanna break way.

I wanna swim away, like a tiny little fish.

Let me go free in the ocean.

Tell me I have enough courage to make this last.

Tell me I’ll be loved till the end of time.

I’m not lost.

I know who I am , just not what I’m born to do.

You sit here and tell me that I’m beautiful.

I don’t see what you see.

But my eyes do not lie to me.

Only my bairn lies.

My heart, it leads me to things.

Then, it throws away all my happiness and leaves me broken down in a alley way.

People think I’m weird.

I was told to be myself growing up.

Different.

Different is what im compared to everyone else.

Though no body is the same.

You can’t be the same.

Even if you act the same, dress the same,talk the same or even sound that same, no one can still be all the same even after all that.

It was nice to know that you were there for me , even when you didn’t want to be.

But now knowing that you can’t be there for me is a breaking point.

To know that you can’t even talk to me.. it’s unbearable.

More like heart wrenching.

Why not just tear me to pieces, then to feed me to the dogs around the block.

Promises that you made me.

You left a open gate of my heart.

At Least what’s left of it.

I promise to change all my values next time I see you again and I swear I will never agree with you and all those words you said.

I’m sorry but I can only see this as a breakthrough.

I’m sorry for the person I became and I’m ready to ignore all the pain.

But each moment I see you.

The tears well up in my eyes.

Then I’m standing there, ready to cry.